2AM Traffic

The building has begun construction work on the balconies and I don't have drapes.

Yesterday Andrea and I went the see a matinee of The Incredible Hulk. I was distracted the entire time noticing Toronto landmarks. A lot of it was shot on the U of T campus and the final battle takes place on Yonge Street (which is supposed to be New York, giant "Sam the Record Man" storefront notwithstanding). Good movie though. Afterwards we had lunch at Denny's and discussed travel plans for next year.

I get a little nervous when I think about staying in one place or mode the rest of my life. There is always this far-off point I think I'll reach where I'll look back and regret not doing more with my time when I had the opportunity, like traveling around to see the world, or creating something worthwhile. I'd really like to make some sort of mark and ensure that I'm satisfied. There's always this nagging idea I have that I should put myself on some sort of "correct" course. It's the hardest thing I've probably ever had to combat, and all it does it make me feel afraid about aging. I'm getting better at shoving it into the corner, but it's going to take more to really become the person I want to be. I'm going to have to make more spontaneous choices and decisions that welcome fluidity into my life.

The thing is, how does one do this and still find stability in relationships, financial matters and family? I'm sure it's possible, I just have to train myself to realize how. The first step, I think, is letting go of the things I only THINK I want at some basic level of my subconscious so that I stop working towards them. The second is replacing these things with the truth.

Last night before bed I watched Unbreakable. Great movie. I wish Shyamalan had turned it into a series.