Today was a busy day at work. Nine and a half hours.

I bought the first season of The Office (six episodes) and devoured the thing. I can't say enough good things about that show. Its quality aside, it takes me back to time I spent with Andrea days before she left for Europe last year. The two of us sat on my cousin's couch for hours marathoning the episodes.

It strikes me as odd that I've started working in an office and spending my downtime watching office-centric television. I wonder if I'm trying to make myself sick of it early on.

RANDOM TRIVIA: A man who contributed to the invention of the polygraph also created Wonder Woman. William Moulton Marston pioneered the systolic blood pressure test which would become a main component of lie detection. Marston, a feminist theorist and psychologist, wrote essays on emotion and believed that women were not only more honest and reliable than men, but also faster and more accurate workers. In 1940 he was hired as an educational consultant by a publishing company that would ultimately merge into DC comics, where he was given the go ahead to develop Wonder Woman, a female superhero of his own invention. Wonder Woman's weapon, a magic lasso, when roped around an adversary, forces that adversary to tell the truth. Marston lived in a polyamorous relationship with his wife and lover, fathering children by each.

Yesterday was a fantastic day overall. Couldn't have asked for a better birthday. After finding out about the job and launching the new blog, everything else was gravy. Andrea gave me a copy of Iron Man along with a t-shirt she had custom made with a green and black duotone image of a keyboard around half the waist. She also presented me with a few items of the naughty variety that for propriety's sake I won't repeat here, but needless to say I'm looking forward to keeping warm with her this winter.

The two of us went to Elgin Street Diner for dinner, where I ate the steak and mushroom pie dinner special with a chocolate shake, and then headed to South Keys to watch Role Models, a very funny movie starring Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott. Any flick that ends with a group of KISS impersonators kicking the shit out of medieval role players with foam swords shouldn't send anyone away dissatisfied.

Afterwards a few of us gathered at Erin's and hung out for a few hours, drinking and talking. Today I've been cleaning up the apartment a bit, getting ready for tonight, though I imagine most folks won't be showing up for the Touch of Evil/Psycho double bill. Should be a fun night either way.

I went with Andrea and Christine to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno yesterday. I'm a huge Kevin Smith fan, and I thought the film was funny, but I was left with the sense that I want him to start getting into other territory. Kevin's an intelligent guy and a great writer, but he's notorious for calling himself a shitty director. He doesn't have a lot of faith in himself, and I think it prevents him from breaking out of the comedic mold he's been in for a few years now. It's still good stuff, but he really needs to move on to the great stuff that a movie like Dogma suggested he's capable of producing. I know he's got a horror flick in the pipeline and I'd be very interested to see how he can expand his repertoire a bit.

Clocks went back and I'm having a hard time adjusting. I think Andrea had a pretty good birthday overall. Her birthday/Halloween party was fun while it lasted. A lot of people turned out. The next morning we went to the diner and later on we watched Peep Show and had dinner at the Royal Oak during what I'm going to term "homeless karaoke" - the karaoke of the indigent looking for a warm room.

I'm set on finally finishing Headhunter this week. I also got a bit of writing done. Hopefully I'll be hearing about the job tomorrow.

It's All Hallows Eve, the scariest of scray holidays, right behind Labour Day (ooooo, Labour Day). I watched Halloween at Andrea's place while she carved a wicked pumpkin and tortured her cat, all while wearing her sexy Halloween costume.

Kat's party was fun. I kept my mask on for the first half and freaked out a couple of people who didn't know who I was. I had the weird feeling of sitting in a friend's apartment a year and a half after hanging out with her on a regular basis. Kat's made a lot of new friends. And good for her, of course. But it was strange sitting there, looking around, not knowing so many faces.

Tonight: another party celebrating the holiday and Andrea's 21st birthday. That's right, by tomorrow morning she'll be legal everywhere.

It was gorgeous outside today. I went for a walk to the Beer store and the weather was incredibly fair. Halloween deserves a great autumn day. The sun hitting dead leaves.

I feel shitty today. Problems that I'm hoping to get past. A day to grab a blanket and watch The Wizard of Oz on the couch. And I've done that, so now there's the evening and night to pass. I'm meeting Kat at the diner at 7. We haven't hung out in forever.

Friendships aren't what they used to be. They change when you get older. You don't make friends as often, and the friendships you have are harder to take for granted. Andrea isn't simply my girlfriend; she's my best friend. I tell her everything, far more than I tell others, which even so must not seem like much at times. I don't feel as intensely as I used to. Sometimes I'm downright shocked at how zen I've become when I compare it to the agonizing phone calls and tears and cigarettes and shitty poetry and awful words that linger from five or six years ago. I don't meditate. I don't pray unless it's for other people. Sometimes I think about what's holding me together, and it's always the same answer: beauty, truth, art. You're born into the world, there's art, and then you pass away. That's my life philosophy.

I spent the last year and a half wondering if I'd ever make something again. Lately I have been. It's taken commitment (and not working a day job). I have words again. I have MUSIC again, really, for the first time since high school. And as much as it drives me crazy to carry around ideas in my head, I'm endlessly grateful that ideas are coming again, and that they're hanging around. When I lie in bed and stare out into space for an hour and feel myself completely absorbed in what a character is thinking and why they're acting the way they are and what they want me to say about them when I bring them to life, it's unlike anything I've ever felt before. I think to myself, "This is it. This is what it feels like to be a writer. I've been going about it in the wrong way all along." I've rediscovered the part of myself that is filled with life at 3:30 in the morning, with that outside-nature feeling, and I've been trying to fit it to my whole self like tailored clothing.

Maybe I do feel as intensely as I used to. Maybe I'm exactly the same in my chest compared to when I was 22. I'm just making different decisions, lending a greater amount of thought to where that energy flows. I've hurt people and I need to be more careful. Maybe in that respect I'll always be the same, for the rest of my life, and it will be up to me to keep making decisions to get to that next point where the words appear on the page and the chords change into each other and I'm still in love.

I'm working on the death philosophy.

The chili was a success. Afterwards I went over to Christine and Laura's to hang out for a bit before I crashed at Andrea's. Apparently Andrea's roommate is meeting some dude from the Internet tonight for the first time, and he's crashing at their place, so she wants me to come over in case the guy is a total shifty creep.

My kitchen is being overrun by fruit flies. I cleaned it a bit and it seems to have helped. I'd love to throw out a couple of boxes but I'm worried that the TV and speakers are going to break down. I'll give it another week.

I've been spending today getting my resume ready for submission with Public History tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Today was as creatively productive as days get for me. After Andrea left I made breakfast and spent the day reading, writing and working on music. The song I've been working on is ready for bass and vocals. Recording a song was the only goal I set for myself this summer and it looks like I'll accomplish it just in time.

Andrea came over last night for dinner and we watched the end of Batman Begins, which construction work at Riverside had kept us from finishing. She crashed before midnight and I tried, but ended up on the couch for a couple of hours reading. Andrea and I are on different sleep schedules right now because she's been working quite a bit. I'm back to a routine where I'm awake until 2 or 3 before I can fall asleep, and then I'm out of bed at around 11. I'm looking forward to having work back in my life, because I'm apparently happiest when I'm going to bed at sunrise on a somewhat regular basis.

I devoured the rest of Fifth Business today. It may be the best book I've read so far this year. Davies' narrative structuring and language are amazing, and he has such a wonderful flair for writing passionate dialogue. There are a few moments in the text where characters talk at length and it never once gets dull. I feel richer for having read it.

I wrote a little over a thousand words today. Every time I sit down to write I'm producing something new and different from the last time. I'm trying to get at a story. I know it's there somewhere, I just have to keep digging.

Thanks to the seemingly tireless efforts of my dad, and the willingness of Mike, Matt and Carly to lend a hand and thereby take our relationships to a new level (helping with a move is big; it's like going all the way), my stuff is in the new place. The living room is looking fantastic so far. I have my new bed and my blinds are apparently in at Sears. The upcoming week is going to be devoted to getting the new place in shape. So far so good. I spent my first night there last night, and I was a bit spooked as I tried to become accustomed to the noises the new place makes. No incidents during the night time, anyhow.

This morning Andrea and I had breakfast with Matt Thompson at the Elgin Street Diner. We kicked the past around a bit and discussed Matt's love life. He said that I've changed over the years. I didn't quite get him to specify what he meant, but it came off as a compliment. He's doing fairly well but wants to nail down some job specifics. Welcome to adulthood.

Andrea came over last night and helped me break in the new place, so to speak. We had a nice talk about us. I'm at her place now, using the Internet. I went by Rogers last night to schedule a hook-up and they can't do it until September 8th. That's almost three weeks from now. I may not be able to update my journal everyday, but Andrea and I are living two blocks away from each other now, so I'll be using geography to my advantage.

I just received an invoice from U of T demanding that I pay tuition fees for 2008-09. Something's messed up here.

Yesterday Andrea and I went to the hospital to visit her grandfather and went out for dinner with some of her family. I picked up a boatload of movies (Juno, The Savages, Panic Room, Spider-man 2, Southland Tales, The Squid and the Whale) and the ninth season of X-Files.

When we were driving back from Ingersoll a plane was flying in to land at the London airport immediately to our right. I've never seen a plane fly that low from a car before.

I finally procured the key to the new place (though not the front door key, which is key). Andrea and I were able to check it out. It's been cleaned out and painted a very light peach beige. It looks great. I stayed for about 15 minutes just standing in the rooms, trying to figure out what colour I'm going to paint them and where I'm going to put the furniture I'll have to purchase. When I get back from London next week I'm going to spend the week painting. I might see if I can order the bed before I take off for Peterborough, too.

London. Right. The next stop on the summer tour. We're leaving at 2 PM on a ten-hour bus ride. I'll have to make sure I pack some reading material, and my journal so that I can get some writing done. We'll be spending the five days visiting with Andrea's family, partying a little bit and going for a swim.

I read for two hours yesterday and got some writing done. The latest exercise involved going to a crowded place, describing the people and inventing a story for one of them. I saw this guy waiting for the bus after I dropped the car off who was perfect. He was 45'ish, wearing a green Christmas sweatshirt and a pink knapsack, lighting a cigarette right under a No Smoking sign. I've got about a thousand words out of him so far.

Yesterday Andrea and I had a grand day up at Gatineau Park. We had lunch at the Chelsea Pub before driving out to Pink Lake and walking the trail. There weren't a whole lot of people out, so it was nice and private and pretty. Andrea recalled this story she'd read about how a cougar was discovered in the park, so we kept making jokes about the cougar suddenly (and rather unlikely) appearing. We went to the beach for a swim but the rain started up. After resting for a bit in the car we came back into town and I dropped her off.

I've been trying to rig up my iMac for speech recognition. I can verbally ask it the time, day, stuff like that. Last night I added a script that allows me to get a song to play just by delivering voice commands. It doesn't work perfectly, but it's still pretty nice, and gets me one step closer to what I really wish computers could do.

This morning I took the car back and then went by the rental office to drop off first month's rent and grab the keys to the new place. They didn't have the keys, and told me to come back this afternoon. I ran some errands and got a haircut. I decided to come home to read for a bit before I went out again.

I'm tired, but I'll bet Andrea is feeling even more so. Trolley's wedding is in the can and it was pretty spectacular as far as weddings go. Horse drawn carriages, beautiful farmland, and food. Ye gods, the food. I like to eat at weddings. I don't know why, really... it's probably the fact that the stuff is free and quality and I'm in a celebratory mood. Add to that the fact that I wasn't drinking because I had to drive and I ended up eating too much as a result. This wedding had food coming constantly. If it wasn't being served it was scattered all over the end of the tent structure where the reception was located. Yum.

The ceremony was among the more beautiful I'd seen. I dig weddings. One more coming up in September. Andrea had a great time. We're supposed to go to Gatineau Park today but I dropped her off at Christine's last night, so I don't know what kind of shape she's in this morning. I parked the car across the street from the building and spilled the complimentary jelly beans we stole from the table just before I walked in the door. Hopefully no one slips Three Stooges style. They'll probably blame some kid for the mess anyway. What fully grown man would spill purple and green jelly beans on the sidewalk?

Andrea and I picked up the car at the airport, had breakfast at Denny's (I PREFACED all of that reception food with a Denny's breakfast. Jesus.) and then stopped at Home Depot to pick up a tree as a wedding gift. The ceremony ended up being three hours later than we guessed so we bummed around Andrea's apartment until it was time to go. I love driving. It can be a nerve-wracking experience when you haven't done it for awhile, but before long taking the twists and turns to navigate around a city grows on you.

The Dark Knight was the third film I've seen in an IMAX theatre (outside of documentaries), the first two being The Matrix Revolutions and then 300 last year. From the opening aerial shot of Gotham that pans down lower into the buildings and streets, I lost my breath and didn't get it back for the rest of the movie. "Action-packed" doesn't come close to describing it - the film relentlessly navigates from one harrowing section to the next in an effort to turn your brain inside out over questions of morality, ethics, social propriety and the stability of the forces in the world that people trust. As for Heath Ledger, he gives an unearthly performance as the Joker; a more sadistic, disturbed character has never surfaced in a comic book film. His real-life death casts an incredibly haunting gravity over the entire film as it juts back and forth between poetry and tragedy. And although Ledger's performance is getting the greater focus, Aaron Eckhart's character arc is the best in the film - he is the textbook definition of a tragic character starting out successful and losing everything. The way they set up the Two-Face character is GENIUS and makes the comparison between Tommy Lee Jones' portrayal a complete waste of time. The movie is two and a half hours long but you don't want the characters to go away. It ends on the perfect note to introduce the next film, which can't come too soon.

It's a movie I've been looking forward to seeing for a very long time. I've kept up with the viral campaigns and trailers, greedy to see that next shot of the Joker. To see him brought to life on the screen the way Ledger did is to experience one of the great performances in movie history. Everything came together beautifully and unfortunately.

Yesterday I picked up some books I'd ordered from Amazon, but I'm returning one because I ordered the Spanish version of it by mistake. Also in the package: a couple of books on writing and reading, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, Fifth Business by Robertson Davies, and Disgrace by J.M. Coetzee. I started reading Joe's book, Gratitude, and got a bit of writing done. Right now I'm at Andrea's drinking coffee. We grabbed dinner at the Royal Oak last night and crashed at her place.

The writer's workshop I'm helping out with is being led by a man named Richard Bausch, whom I've never read. I went to Chapters yesterday and picked up his latest book, Peace, and I'm planning to read it on the trip down. It's set against the Second World War, and I typically really enjoy books and films that comment on that time period.

I stopped by Shoppers and bought a heating bag for my back. I used it a couple of times yesterday, along with a freezing bag. If it doesn't get fully better I'm going to see a chiropractor. It's not too bad right now, but even sitting here typing is uncomfortable, and I walk with a slight limp on my left side.

I slept a lot at Andrea's yesterday. Her room feels like the most comfortable place on earth, especially with her in it. I'm going to miss her for the next week or so. I am looking forward to seeing Matt, though. He's a guy I need to talk to every now and again. Now more than ever, probably.

I'm feeling more decentered now than I thought I would after moving back to Ottawa. I thought I'd have a clearer picture of where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, but it's more jumbled than ever. I think I'm just in the process of finally convincing myself that I'm the kind of person that doesn't need to be in any one place to be happy. That's the kind of person I've always wanted to be. I want to experience everything life has to offer. Right now it's a week-long job in a different city. Next it will be having my very own apartment for the first time. After that, who knows? I'm going to admit this to myself right here and now: I'm probably not going to stay in Ottawa. I'm not looking for a place I can call home and be done with it. I'm looking to expand my definition of the word and apply it to something bigger.

Gonna murder me some construction workers.

I spent yesterday at Andrea sleeping and eating pie and ice cream. We lazed around in her bed watching Blades of Glory and St. Elmo's Fire. Days can't get much more perfect.

I'm starting to wish that the balcony construction workers would meet with some sort of "accident."

On the subject of apartments, I spent some time at Andrea's yesterday. Her room reminds me of the room she had on Lees and I want to barricade myself inside it for a week and not leave because her bed is so comfortable and I feel so secure there among her stuffed animals.

My back pain has localized to an annoying charlie-horse type pain in the back of my left leg. I can move around pretty freely if I don't think about it too much. I just have to keep stretching the area and not allow it to force me into walking funny.

I'm not having the greatest morning. Between the balcony construction, the off chance that someone JUST started using the dryer at 9:45 AM on a Tuesday and the fact that I want to be out of here by 1 PM so that the landlord can subject the apartment to "inspection," I want to burn this place to the ground. I think some meditation is in order.

I had a bit of a spotty time getting out of bed, but I still think I'm getting better. I'm going to try exercising the muscles in my lower back today with stretches. I made it outside for a walk down the block and back yesterday. It was nice to get out of the recycled air of the apartment.

Maintenance workers removed the railing of the balcony and it looks dangerous out there. At the same time, the view has never been better.

Andrea's hard at work on getting her new place in shape. Her uncle is coming up and helping her move the bigger furniture in. I'm sure she can't wait until it's over and done with. I just wish I could be of some help.

Today is my mom's birthday. Must be a good son and call, though I don't really want to tell her I messed up my back.

Back still hurts. Yesterday I caught a trio of classic Canadian shows on TV: Danger Bay, The Beachcombers and King of Kensington (which featured a cameo from John Candy). I had a long conversation with Ash and later Andrea about this and that - people, places, plans. I'd like to think that this incident is going to mark some kind of turning point for me. I'll certainly never look at walking straight the same way again.

I received some more information about helping out with the writers' workshop in Toronto. I'm scheduled to leave in a week. It's my strongest motivation to get better. I'm certainly glad this didn't happen while the Senate was still in session. There's no way I would have been able to make it into work.

Andrea is moving the big stuff into her new apartment tomorrow. I wish I could be more of a help. I haven't even been outside since the hospital trip a few days ago. Hopefully I can give it a shot when she comes over later today. I need to get some exercise if my back is going to be strong enough to support me. Painkillers is one thing, but I don't want to turn into jelly.

I've been reading Joan Didion's The White Album, a collection of essays that typically uses 1960's California as its muse. I don't always have a clear idea as to what she's referring but I do like her attraction to how things like highways and aqueducts and shopping malls actually work. She travels extensively, exploring the world of Marquez' One Hundred Years of Solitude, quoting the first line of that text, one of the greatest of all time:

"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice."

The White Album opens with a line that may be as great:

"We tell ourselves stories in order to survive."

There is something of great importance here in which I am trying to instill belief.

Things are progessing slowly but surely. Last night I was able to make myself dinner and actually get into bed from a standing position. Today I'm going without a table by my side for easy access. I need to get up and move around periodically because the longer I stay in one position the harder it is to get out of it.

Andrea's cousin Amanda, who's been up for Canada Day, crashed on the couch the last couple of nights. Yesterday we watched Star Wars Episodes III and IV on Spike. I'm home alone right now waiting for Andrea to get back from her new apartment. She's getting her cable hooked up today.

I'm going to try to shower on my own later today. Tomorrow I might try going ouside for a bit. Baby steps.

I threw my back out helping Andrea move yesterday. It serves me right. I've had a sore back for months and it was pretty much the last straw. I hobbled home afterwards and tried to rest it, but it got worse to the point where I was suffering spasms that would send me to the floor in pain. It's seriously been the most painful thing I've ever experienced.

Some folks came over last night to hang out and we watched Batman Returns. I could barely make it to the washroom on two occasions. When I tried to get to bed I collapsed again and had to physically pull myself up into bed from the floor. When I woke up this morning I tried standing up but it wasn't happening. Ash called a nurse and she told me to head to emergency. I couldn't make it down the stairs, so Ash called an ambulance and the paramedics loaded me up.

It's been a day of firsts. I've never taken an ambulance to the hospital before. Not in the back, anyway. The paramedic asked me a few questions. I'd taken painkillers including a Tylenol 3 and they'd had no effect. Once at the hospital I was eventually loaded into a room. First time in a hospital bed. The doctor checked me out. More questions. The bottom line, I pulled a muscle and the tension is causing the spasms. She prescribed me Percocet. I took two at the hospital and in half an hour I was able to get up and walk around. I got into a wheelchair to wheel out and wait for Ian to pick us up. First time in a wheelchair! On the way back we picked up part of the prescription. The pharmacy is waiting for confirmation from the hospital to issue the rest.

I must say that Ash and Ian have been super people since I hurt myself. They've been getting me things, helping me out with the hospital trip, just generally making sure I'm okay. Ash stayed with me at the hospital and brought my stuff. They made me dinner. I told Ash earlier that I sometimes think about what would happen to me if I found myself in a situation where I'm left kind of helpless. I wonder who I can count on in such situations. I really appreciated their support.

The doctor said I should be okay in five to six days at the most. No partying for me tonight. But hey, Andrea's coming over later. I couldn't ask for a better Canada Day.