2AM Traffic

I have had a series of blogs that I've gone through in the past nine years. Titles have included:

The Standard
Mental Piracy
Life on Drugs
Dave the Moon Man
Field Trip City
2AM Traffic
Things to Do Before I'm 30

That's seven altogether. Almost one a year. I've kept some going longer than others, but I've always moved on. I don't know why. I get to the point where a part of me thinks, "Enough is enough. Time to start over. Time to clear the slate and get on with life. Time for a new set of thought processes." Each move to a new journal has signaled a shift in my personality or what I regarded as dawns to new times in my life. Almost one a year.

I'm finding readers increasingly hard to hold on to. The most fruitful of my blogs was undoubtedly "Dave the Moon Man", the blog I kept up at livejournal.com. It was because I became involved in a network of other people who also blogged and everyone seemed to share a mutual appreciation for each other's entries. Almost all of my friends had blogs or started them. Now, livejournal is all but a barren wasteland of community and university updates and the occasional collection of film stills. Most of those people who kept blogs have moved on.

I have seven blogs belonging to friends that I keep an eye on. Of those, only two of them are updated with anything close to a regular frequency. I have two friends who update still somewhat regularly on livejournal, bringing the grand total to four. Blogs used to be a great way to keep track of my friends' lives. It was a great way to find out their thoughts and activities and desires. Now I have no idea what anyone is thinking.

Just ask them in person, right? Sure. But blogs sometimes afforded my friends the chance to really get their thoughts into the words that they couldn't summon when I would see them, which is also happening more infrequently than it used to. I get that. People move on in life. Some folks just aren't writers. Blogs were a phase for most. I just miss it. Because the old network is gone, people are also not as inclined to read what I have to say, and I generally have to keep my blogs under lock and key with invite-only type friend lists and other nonsense, which makes it harder.

I know I mentioned this recently, but I've been thinking more and more about it - a completely open and honest blog that I can fully admit to having without worrying about repercussions. It's what I've always wanted. I think I can pull it off now, because I don't write as much about the same things I used to write about (re: girl problems). However, I'll have to write it under a slightly different name. I'll use my middle names: Joel Crary.

I'm still working on what kind of shape it will take and where I'll post it. I just know this new phase is coming, and soon.