As far as I can understand it, the government may dissolve yet again on Monday over the Conservatives' proposed financial stimulus plan. Everyone has been saying that it's because it called for the elimination of public financing for political parties, which would have crippled the smaller parties.

The big news is that the Liberals and NDP have been in talks to form a coalition to take over the Conservatives. They need the help of the Bloc in order to have enough seats, and the Bloc has said they will help out if the coalition has Quebec's interests in mind. If a coalition forms, the three parties take over the government. If it doesn't, and enough votes are cast in a non-confidence motion against the Conservatives, the government dissolves and the parties go to another election.

Or the bill could pass, which means that nothing would change.

Since the stimulus package was announced on Thursday and rumours of a coalition started, the Conservatives have backed down on the public financing condition. But I'm not so sure that's going to be enough. I think there is a deep down resentment for Harper's politics that might keep a coalition momentum going. However, the Liberals only have a standing leader right now in Dion, who announced he was going to resign after his performance in the October 14th election. They could pull the trigger on Ignatieff, but he hasn't yet really had the opportunity to prove himself against the current Conservative minority.

Another election would be costly in a bad economic environment. It would be a red flag against the Liberals that Harper would no doubt wave in their faces. Canadians are tired of going to the polls as often as they have been lately, no matter how they vote, and I doubt the Liberals would perform well. I think, and hope, that if a coalition can't form, the bill will be allowed to pass, not the least because I'm worried about my own job but because it wouldn't be a good move on the part of leftists.

It's a pretty volatile situation. It also means that I'll find out on Monday how much longer I'll have a job.

My upstairs neighbours left me a note telling me that they just bought a puppy. They're apologizing in advance for the noise. I don't really mind, in fact it was nice of them to leave a note, but I hear other noises coming from their apartment that kind of make me wonder about them. The guy often shouts profanities, and I don't know if they're directed at anyone in particular, but they're delivered with the voice of some high school jock who never grew out of throwing temper tantrums.

Still no paycheque from work, but that's the government for you.

It's snowing outside. Everything looks beautiful.

I've sort of entered this phase of life where I think I'm being "smart" about my emotions. Rather than pull a trigger on an impulse I take two steps back and remind myself that it would be silly to make the same mistakes I used to make in my early twenties. I carry myself as though I've been through and seen too much. I step back and watch people who are younger than I am walk through hell to grow up, all the while trying not to tell them that all the pain and confusion and indecision will pass. They have to figure it out on their own. They wouldn't listen to me, and they would have no reason to.

Every time I meet a 24 year old I cringe and ask them if they're freaking out about their lives. I give them the advice that things will change once they hit 27 or so, whether they ask for it or not.

Maybe it's bullshit for me to be thinking that way at all. Since I was a teenager I've been the type of person who loves to give advice based on experience. Imagine a 16 year old giving the "when I was your age" speech. That has been me in a nutshell. You would think a guy like that would be priming himself for fatherhood, but I'd make a lousy dad. I'm still too selfish, too uncertain to be a dad. I take too much pleasure in not taking the world too seriously to cultivate a mind. I'd fuck the kid up.

Being smart about emotion: don't get too worked up, too angry, too sad about anything. Bear all bad news with a slow breath in and out and start the next sentence with, "Okay." I've always been that person too, the one who thinks he can work out any problem by approaching it with a level head, the one who can break down every situation to its bare elements somehow and rebuild it nice and new and happy from the ground up. My early twenties were hell because I felt closer to reason than I ever had but still couldn't grab onto it. I could choose my words carefully, but my relationships would still fail because I didn't understand that I could say too much and drive people away.

The other night I was telling Andrea that I really wasn't still friends with any of the people I called friends when I was 21. During the course of my entire life my friendships have shifted like glaciers, slowly and almost unnoticeable, gradually moving along, in and out of view, sometimes shifting and changing into something else like love or hate or a closeness with another person I hadn't seen coming. It has prevented lifelong friendships from blossoming and I don't know if it will ever stop. I think of my dad, closing in on 70, with no real friends to call his own. He has my mother, his kids and God, and that's it. No more glaciers on the horizon.

I have learned to appreciate what is positive in my life, but at times I feel as though I take the positives for granted and treat others unfairly. I am constantly battling my worry about living a life that is too small in scope with my satisfaction in how many good things I have going for me. I don't want to hide from my own life in relationships or work. Rather, I want these things to be expressive of who I am and how I feel. At times I feel as though I care too much about how others perceive me and how well I'm adjusting to getting older. Most of the time I laugh it off, or fantasize about laughing it off when no one asks me how I'm doing.

Getting older freaks me out. It probably always will, no matter how self-satisfied I become over thinking my way through emotions I once thought were out of control. I always come back to Coupland's words in Life After God:

Time, Baby - so much, so much time left until the end of my life - sometimes I go crazy at how slowly time passes yet how quickly my body ages. But I shouldn't allow myself to think like this. I have to remind myself that time only frightens me when I think of having to spend it alone. Sometimes I scare myself with how many of my thoughts revolve around making me feel better about sleeping alone in a room.

Getting older means a continual process of reminding yourself, of giving yourself advice, in order to thwart a negativity that would otherwise destroy any potential you have to be loved.

As an unapologetic fan of professional wrestling, I am very much looking forward to The Wrestler, a movie that has steadily been building buzz and should make a mark at the Academy Awards next year. The trailer has been released, and it looks incredible:



The movie is directed by Darren Aronofsky, who also directed Pi, Requiem for a Dream and The Fountain. I dig Mickey Rourke as an actor and I'm really looking forward to seeing him in action.

I'm just going to put this out there.

Jesse Eisenberg and Michael Cera will one day play brothers in a movie.

Today was a busy day at work. Nine and a half hours.

I bought the first season of The Office (six episodes) and devoured the thing. I can't say enough good things about that show. Its quality aside, it takes me back to time I spent with Andrea days before she left for Europe last year. The two of us sat on my cousin's couch for hours marathoning the episodes.

It strikes me as odd that I've started working in an office and spending my downtime watching office-centric television. I wonder if I'm trying to make myself sick of it early on.

RANDOM TRIVIA: A man who contributed to the invention of the polygraph also created Wonder Woman. William Moulton Marston pioneered the systolic blood pressure test which would become a main component of lie detection. Marston, a feminist theorist and psychologist, wrote essays on emotion and believed that women were not only more honest and reliable than men, but also faster and more accurate workers. In 1940 he was hired as an educational consultant by a publishing company that would ultimately merge into DC comics, where he was given the go ahead to develop Wonder Woman, a female superhero of his own invention. Wonder Woman's weapon, a magic lasso, when roped around an adversary, forces that adversary to tell the truth. Marston lived in a polyamorous relationship with his wife and lover, fathering children by each.

Tomorrow's the big day, ie. the day the House begins its next Parliament session. They'll be choosing a Speaker to kick things off, and from the murmurs I hear its going to come to ballots. I was reading an old Hansard from the 37th Parliament, comparing it with the last, and it just went to show that the process can either take an hour or several.

I'm not feeling nervous about it. By this point I think that most of my questions are going to be answered in the process. They'll be keeping an eye on me at first. Murray said he'd look into getting me some extra hours in January to practice, and I want to take full advantage.

A few of us went to the diner last night and hung out. It was a good weekend for seeing people; I'd like to get into the habit of seeing them every weekend, just to hang out over a pint or milkshake. Tonight Andrea and I are going to catch a showing of Jules et Jim at the Bytowne.

Someone upstairs is singing Happy Birthday.

I may need to revert to the two-alarm system of getting out of bed in the morning. My body isn't used to 9 AM.

I put my first payment down on my student loan - that is, the first payment I've ever made on purpose, without the NSLSC taking it out of my account. At the monthly payment rate I'm set at (almost $400 a month) my loan will be paid off in just over nine years. I can make payments whenever I want, of course.

Original Repayment Amount: $32,449.36
Amount Owing at the NSLSC: $32,133.84

Only nine years to go. I'll make it a thing to do before I'm 40.

It strikes me that most of the things I've always wanted/planned to do were things that I saw myself doing in my twenties. When I was a teenager, I always had an idea of what my twenties would be like. But I have no idea what life will be like in my thirties. No clue. It's grand.

The man I'm "replacing," Murray, is retiring in January and he's been showing me the ropes, letting me know how things work in the Chamber and how parliament business proceeds. A really nice guy. We sat down and watched a debate tape and he walked me through the published transcription step by step. Occasionally he'd clear his throat and explain that he wasn't used to talking so much.

At the top of the morning I sat down with a guy named Michel in the Verifications Centre, a guy who's also retiring, and he told me about some of the things he's had to verifying, including the spelling of "Jiminy Crickett." He actually PHONED DISNEY and asked them how to spell it, and now it's in the House of Commons verifications database.

The Chamber gets crazy. Politicians hoot and holler at each other like they're kids in a sandbox fighting over plastic shovels and toy cars, cracking painfully bad puns and reciting song lyrics and quotations with abandon. I'm just in awe of the entire thing and can't believe it works the way it does.

Less about the job, eventually. I've never really liked blogging about work.

I have my own cubicle. My own! I don't have to share it with anyone. Its bare, faux-carpeted walls are crying out to be covered in pictures of loved ones, funny cat calendars and posters of sunsets. I have a computer and a couple of filing cabinets. At one point, someone emailed me about calling a number to schedule an appointment, and I left a message for a callback.

I felt like such a regular person. Of course, I'm not really that regular, so I'll inevitably find ways to bring irregularity to the workplace. Gradually, inch by inch. They won't even notice.

I'm in for an average of about five seven-hour work days a week. The earliest I'll start is 10 AM. Today I read through a multitude of information about formatting House of Commons debates, but I won't be able to really grasp it until I'm applying it on a daily basis. Dry work, maybe, but it's going to teach me a shitload about Canadian politics. It's a job that will make me smarter, and really lend me a greater handle on how the country operates.

Vacation-wise, it's ideal. I get six weeks off at Christmas beginning December 13th, a week off in May and then June 24th - September 18th off. It's ideal because I won't have to lose myself in the job all year. I can take plenty of time to explore other interests.

So far, so good. I train for a couple more days this week. The 40th Parliament begins session on Tuesday. Here's to hoping everything continues to work out.

I start the new job tomorrow at 10 AM. I'll be sleeping in my bed for the first time in a couple of months because I want to be ready and raring to go tomorrow morning.

I finished up the Terry Lee Hale cover. You can hear it over on the Wire and Light myspace page: myspace.com/wireandlight.

I picked up a Bond box set at HMV to start hacking my way through the films.

My updates in this blog might slow down a bit, since I'll be writing about a lot of things on the new one, but this should still afford me a space for things that the other one doesn't.

I quit my job at Senate publications today. Dave emailed me and asked me if I wanted to, and my return email was something akin to "Now that you mention it..." Working up to 35 hours a week will be enough without knocking myself out with overnight Senate shifts.

I've been working on music this afternoon, a cover of "Dead is Dead" by Terry Lee Hale. Hopefully I'll have it finished tomorrow, and then I'll finish up the original I've been working on for the last month and put both online.

Janet Leigh's Bad Luck with Motels was a success, though most didn't show until well into the second film. The party moved to the Royal Oak for a couple of hours. Many, many drinks were had, resulting in a $350 tab. A few of us went to the Live Lounge afterwards and danced to music that appealed to my inner teenager. More drinks, more fun. The night ended on a bit of a sour note, with a fight breaking out on York Street. My phone died and I lost Andrea in the confusion. The Market just isn't what it used to be.

I'd never been to the Live Lounge before. They do a live-to-air broadcast every Saturday night, hosted by DJ Noah. Andrea and Steve got me a couple of birthday shout-outs, and a dedication of "Lazy Eye" by Silversun Pickups. The club closes at 2 sharp, and the bouncer tried clearing us from the floor, but Noah put on "Young Folks" by Peter, Bjorn and John. We weren't going anywhere. Noah said it was definitely the last song of the night, and he was completely stoked that we refused to leave before he was done. A really cool moment.

All in all, I had a fantastic time and was really pleased with the turnout. I'm taking it easy today, chilling at Andrea's.

Yesterday was a fantastic day overall. Couldn't have asked for a better birthday. After finding out about the job and launching the new blog, everything else was gravy. Andrea gave me a copy of Iron Man along with a t-shirt she had custom made with a green and black duotone image of a keyboard around half the waist. She also presented me with a few items of the naughty variety that for propriety's sake I won't repeat here, but needless to say I'm looking forward to keeping warm with her this winter.

The two of us went to Elgin Street Diner for dinner, where I ate the steak and mushroom pie dinner special with a chocolate shake, and then headed to South Keys to watch Role Models, a very funny movie starring Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott. Any flick that ends with a group of KISS impersonators kicking the shit out of medieval role players with foam swords shouldn't send anyone away dissatisfied.

Afterwards a few of us gathered at Erin's and hung out for a few hours, drinking and talking. Today I've been cleaning up the apartment a bit, getting ready for tonight, though I imagine most folks won't be showing up for the Touch of Evil/Psycho double bill. Should be a fun night either way.

Not ANOTHER new blog:

Things To Do Before I'm 30.

It's pretty much exactly what it sounds like. My first post is a video blog, which I've never done before, but which I've now done before I turned 30.

Christine called me today and offered me the job at the House of Commons. She said I tested the highest out of every applicant, and offered me a spot with the Hansard Association, the group that edits and researches chamber debates and speeches. I'll be working 33-35 hours a week, so it looks like I'll be leaving the Senate job behind shortly.

Don't forget to check out the blog. If you have any suggestions about things for me to do before I turn 30, I'm more than open to them.

I'm a big fan of Reese Puffs cereal. I eat it for breakfast almost everyday. Today I was buying Reese Puffs at the grocery store and I noticed a quiz written on the back of the box.

Reese Puffs 18 Things To Do Before You're 18

01. Ride the world's biggest rollercoaster.
02. Bungee jump!
03. Score the winning goal/basket.
04. Win an award, trophy or prize.
05. Learn an instrument.
06. Go backstage at a gig.
07. Meet your idol.
08. Play a part in your favorite TV show.
09. Meet someone with your own name.
10. Make a discovery.
11. Get away with the perfect practical joke.
12. Own a pointless collection.
13. Invent a word that makes it into the dictionary. (Ambitious.)
14. Conquer your biggest fear.
15. Raise money for charity.
16. Pass your driving test the first time.
17. Complete a road trip coast to coast.
18. Reach 18 years of age.

That's not a bad list. I'm turning 29 years old tomorrow. For a little while I've been building a list of things I'd like to do before I'm 30. Here's what I've got so far:

Things To Do Before I'm 30

01. Record an album of at least 10 songs.
02. Play a show in support of the album.
03. Write the first draft of a novel.
04. Make a music video.
05. Share a kiss while overlooking Paris.
06. Drink a beer in an authentic Irish pub.
07. Appear in a film.

I have a head start on a couple of those. I'd really like to go into my 30's thinking that I've done all I could to have some amazing experiences. I think I'll ask my younger friends what they'd like to accomplish before they turn 30, and try to come up with some more.

I really believe that American politics routinely comes down to one set of principles versus another. The differences between McCain and Obama were pretty much the same differences between Kerry and Bush, Gore and Bush, Clinton and Dole, Clinton and Bush Sr., and on and on. For the past three elections, people in America have been split almost right down the middle in terms of the popular vote. One American goes one way, another goes the other way.

Why does this happen? How can two parties, representing two separate sets of principles, have a tug of war with one another and win back and forth so routinely? Why would a Republican suddenly vote for a Democrat, or vice versa, or declare themselves undecided?

It comes down to who has the better words to act as a salve for America's suffering. The country is perpetually broken, can perpetually be improved, but this reality is rarely stated in plain facts, instead covered up by fancy buzzword rhetoric. Obama mentioned it in his victory speech last night in a way no politician has in a long time. America has not yet reached a state of political, social and certainly not economical perfection. It never has. Yet more often than not, I think, campaigns are run on the idea that America is perfect by virtue of its democratic process and freedom of cultural and religious expression - its faults are always the other party's. Obama's and McCain's campaigns generally followed suit, Obama armed with eight years of Bush policy failures and McCain chomping at the Democrats' willingness to spend themselves into slavery to the Chinese.

But Obama said something very significant last night - in effect, "I won't be able to fix this country alone."

I think you have in Obama a politician who doesn't idealize America in the same way McCain does, and that's important. Obama spoke to a truth about the country's imperfections that voters connected with. Beyond this, he represented it symbolically, a black man with the presidential office in his sights, a success in spite of socio-political imperfections. That's what he will base his first term as president on. Successes in spite of imperfections.

Will it make America better? Maybe. Obama has a background as a community organizer. He's trained to pull people together to accomplish goals in order to better their society. That's an important training for a president to have in a country so clearly divided down party lines.

A part of me wants to say that I'm glad Democrats gained the White House and strengthened their Senate presence because I despise certain Republican principles, base or otherwise - bans on abortion and gay marriage, a belief in the right to bear arms, opposition to stem cell research - and I believe these principles have no place in government because they promote discrimination while robbing what I believe should be the fundamental rights of people in a free nation.

But that's not why I'm happy that Obama won last night. I'm happy because America needed a leader who wouldn't disappear from the public eye in a silent declaration that he had failed the country in most of the decisions he made while in office. I'm happy that Americans elected Obama not out of fear, but out of a willingness to believe in his message of change. Hollow platitudes? Again, maybe. He hasn't taken office yet. No one is sure what he'll be capable of. But I'd never seen anything like the look in the eyes of those watching his speech last night - a crowd of thousands of voters across lines of ethnicity, religion, and sexual orientation. A unified belief, not in Obama, but that the country must get better, and that his election indicated that it's possible.

It's not really up to Obama how the next four years go. It's up to the people over whom he presides. Last night was a good start.

I've almost got the Reason work on a new song done, but I'm having a hell of a time with the arpeggiator on a couple of the keyboard effects. Should be able to get something workable done by next week. I abandoned a short story I was working on for something else. Hopefully it will go somewhere.

Winterson is a hell of a writer.

Still no word about the job.

I imagine I'll be watching the election coverage for most of the night. I'm pulling for an Obama win, but if I've learned anything from American politics over the last two terms, you can't call the race until it's over.

All I want is right now to find out once and for all about this job. The waiting is the hardest part.

I finished Headhunter. I enjoyed it, but it's a complicated book with a multitude of characters of often unspecified intertextual origin that deserves another read. Today I started The Passion by Jeanette Winterson, which Andrea was kind enough to lend me.

I went with Andrea and Christine to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno yesterday. I'm a huge Kevin Smith fan, and I thought the film was funny, but I was left with the sense that I want him to start getting into other territory. Kevin's an intelligent guy and a great writer, but he's notorious for calling himself a shitty director. He doesn't have a lot of faith in himself, and I think it prevents him from breaking out of the comedic mold he's been in for a few years now. It's still good stuff, but he really needs to move on to the great stuff that a movie like Dogma suggested he's capable of producing. I know he's got a horror flick in the pipeline and I'd be very interested to see how he can expand his repertoire a bit.

Clocks went back and I'm having a hard time adjusting. I think Andrea had a pretty good birthday overall. Her birthday/Halloween party was fun while it lasted. A lot of people turned out. The next morning we went to the diner and later on we watched Peep Show and had dinner at the Royal Oak during what I'm going to term "homeless karaoke" - the karaoke of the indigent looking for a warm room.

I'm set on finally finishing Headhunter this week. I also got a bit of writing done. Hopefully I'll be hearing about the job tomorrow.